Rules To Help You Shift Perspectives & Change Minds—For The Better
Wouldn't it be fun if you could just grab that one person who doesn't "get it,” strap them to a magic couch that hushes their thoughts, and make them listen to your side? It would be so much easier to convince them that you're right, AND they'd finally understand exactly what you've been trying to explain this whole, damn, time.
But…real life. Cops might come, and it would be kind of hard to explain your way out of “why the ropes, Lindsay?”
The truth is, changing someone’s mind doesn’t really work like that anyways because our brains are not designed to react to a threatening environment by just rolling over and saying, “lovely thoughts, Lindsay. Thank you. I'm wrong, and you're right, evermore!”
Plus, if what you're saying is antithetical to what the other person has believed for ages, you won’t be able to bark your side of the argument, then expect a standing ovation. Obvious, I know, but you’d be shocked how often people only think in terms of winning and losing when it comes to persuasion tactics.
But, I have good news! There are ways (let’s call them rules) that can increase your odds of success when trying to shift someone’s perspective, and create a captivated fan in the process. And, surprise! They all have to do with storytelling.
Want to know what they are? Let’s dive in so you can find out how to gracefully change someone's mind that will, in turn, help you sell more, create deeper connections, and have a greater impact on your audience.
Rules To Help You Shift Perspectives & Change Minds—For The Better
Rule #1 | Facts Focus On Logic, Stories Deal With The Imagination
If you've been here for a bit, you've probably heard me say that facts focus on logic (left brain), and stories deal with the imagination (right brain). Let's say you want to change someone's mind and woo them to think what you think and, say, buy whatever it is you're selling. Maybe you’re pitching investors. Maybe you’re selling an online course. Maybe you’re marketing a new sparkling water. But your audience is Just. Not. Getting. It! In fact, they're digging in their heels, rooting deeper and deeper in their side of the argument, arms folded across their chest (why more bubbly when there’s already LaCroix!?). What most people do is lob impressive stats, facts and numbers at their audience trying desperately to use information and logic to prove their point. The problem is, you cannot change people's minds with facts. You have to use their imagination, and thus their will, because it allows them to think in terms of “what if” so they can imagine a different perspective.
Rule #2 | Understanding Their Worldview Creates Shared Beliefs
To persuade someone to believe what you believe, you have to understand their hopes, dreams, fears and desires. If they feel you have shared beliefs, aspirations or challenges, it starts to build a level of trust, and a feeling of “me too” emotional connection. Why is that? Because we are hardwired to recognize ideas that reinforce what we already believe, and reject what we don’t. To do this, get clear on your identities, and your values, then build messaging and stories that reinforce those shared beliefs.
Rule #3 | Shift From Proving to Understanding
Shift your goal from proving and perfecting to understanding and learning to build rapport and find common ground. That looks like asking really good questions with a goal of understanding the other person, not trying them to convince them of your side. This could, quite simply, be you sending a survey out to customers and asking them questions. However you ask questions, the point is to actually LISTEN, not create a counterpoint…yet.
As we mentioned above, common ground usually takes the form of shared identities (I’m a working mom, storm lover and skier who prefers tea over coffee, and so are you!), and values (I value simplicity, efficiency and empathy, and so do you!). Then you use storytelling to reinforce those identities. Stories, then, act as this magical conversion tool because they organize others’ imagination into a coherent set of events.
Rule #4 | You Don’t Convince People, People Convince Themselves
It’s like when you want your kid to clean their room and you ask them how fast Superman would clean his room…all of a sudden it becomes their idea to clean their room as fast as possible because that’s what Superman does. You didn’t say, “go clean your room.”
The same holds true for your audience. If they feel like they came up with the idea themselves, they’re in. As opposed to if you shove a fact in someone’s face, they’re more likely to lock horns with you, or worse, completely reject what you have to say.
The key here is you have to lead people to the answer—but not give it to them—by telling a story that takes people through the emotional experience that got you excited about the new idea. Remember, you have to convince people emotionally before they will get excited about your logic.
And, voilà! You didn’t have to tie someone to a couch after all!
