How to feel good about talking about… you.
Do you like talking about yourself?
Most people don't. It feels narcissistic, like they're placing a strobing spotlight on their ego, obviously desperate for external validation. But then I'm here telling you, “Your story matters! Share it!" Confused? I get it.
But get this: If you share your story in chronological order—I was born, then I got into Harvard, then I became the best insurance salesperson/pilot/athlete ever, then won all these awards, and now I'm better than you—then sure, that can be seen as grasping for recognition and acceptance, and those you're trying to connect with may bristle and run the other way.
But, there's another way—a way that cements humility into your story, and draws people in to hear more, follow your insight and demand you share evermore.
The first thing you have to know is that your value is not your resume. You're not just here to build credibility, or litigate your accomplishments to prove your worth, because that is not a sustainable motivation. Short version: Don't list your resume. K? In today's selfie economy, humility has become a currency.
Because, ultimately, you're here to build connection with those who you're demanding attention from (ie your audience on social, in sales meetings, in talks you do). And that connection comes from sharing things about your experience that go far beyond your resume. They go into the human side of what you do, not the factual side.
The reason this works to build connection is that facts (your bullet-point history) do not elicit emotion, they deal with the logical part of the brain. Stories and narratives, however, deal with the imagination. They allow people to imagine something they probably won't ever fully experience like you did. It lets them in on the emotion, the physical sensations, the way your mind processed things.
If you're wanting to build trust, rapport, and create a boomerang effect where people want to keep coming back for more try these 5 steps:
1. Pick one moment that has an element of challenge. Describe who was there, what you felt, what was going on.
2. Describe the challenge and tension. What were you up against? Why couldn't you get around this challenge?
3. Describe the thing that finally allowed you to get around that challenge. Was it tactical, strategic, a new plan, a different mindset, a mentor?
4. Describe the transformation. What did that thing you do in the previous step allow to happen for you? How did it change you emotionally, physically, and psychologically?
5. Share the lesson. What did you learn from that, and how have you embedded that lesson into your life, your training, your work, now? How does it help you avoid future challenges of the same flavor?
When shared in this way, your story has context, a why, and people understand you, and why you think this way. It allows them to embed themselves in your experience and get on board with your strategy, and your message.
Need help? Reach out, book 30 min with me, and I can walk you through how knowing and sharing these elements of your life can build a potent message, and change your perception to build growth and rapport.
xo, Lindsay
