Our dog died on New Year’s Eve almost 3 years ago. Pancho, or Pancho Villa when he got spicy. He was a German Shorthaired Pointer, and was the best dog ever according to, well, everyone. When I was swallowed whole by severe (and I mean SEVERE) postpartum anxiety, he wouldn’t leave my side—he’d squish his body against my legs as I breastfed my gigantic baby (she was 9 lbs!). Then, at 13, Pancho died in my husband’s arms. I called for him on runs for an entire year after.

Fast forward to the COVID spring. We were home, kids were home. And I had the same revelation as everyone else across the globe—we need a dog! But my husband was working a million hours per week, and could not stomach the heavy lift of another warm body in this house (or do we call them cells now?).

Message ignored—I called breeders every week. Cooed at other dogs in Judd’s face. Convinced my kids to bring the topic up alllll the time to try to wear him down. Nothing worked.

You know why? I wasn’t painting the picture of our new life with a dog; Judd had no reference, no visual, no emotional hook to hang on to. I wasn’t telling the story of a better life, so he dug his feet in—no dog.

But, I got smart, dropped the guilt trips and started on my quest to give him a new mental picture and visceral reaction to my stories. “Imagine rounding the bend on your mountain runs and our new Pancho is waiting for you, eyes on you, ears perked up…you’ll never be lonely on a run again! WFH will be filled with sooo much more love as he cuddles your feet under your desk all day! The kids will LOVE being homeschooled (I may have lied a teeeeny bit on this one)!” Yada yada.

This is a lesson in persuasion and impact. We want to persuade people to like us, to love us, to be accepted and revered for something that has meaning—a key step in establishing an impactful brand. Nobody wants to saddle up next to a brand that makes them feel shitty, that makes their choices appear lame or incongruent with a spectacular life.

So, to persuade someone to believe what we believe, you have to understand their worldview, their values, their truth. Why? Because we are hardwired to recognize ideas that reinforce what we already believe, and reject what we don’t.

You, as a brand, a company, a person, or entrepreneur, have to close the gap between what you want and what they want—the vision of your brand and the visual they see themselves in.

Now, how do you do that? Here are 4 steps to close the gap between your company’s vision and the visual story you give to those you’re trying to persuade.

Step 1 | Get crystal clear on your values.

What do you believe are your core tenants, or values, that your company—or you, if you’re a solopreneur or entrepreneur—lives by? Is it efficiency and productivity? You want to be aspirational? Tout healthy living? Empathy? Curiosity? Diversity? Adventurous? You get the point.

Step 2 | Nail down your customer’s values.

You may think you know what your customer values, but it’s worth spending time actually asking them this question. Do they value the same things? If this is misaligned with yours, find the people who align with you, drill them with questions, and find their core behavioral motivations. In other words, what do they care about MOST in their lives?

Step 3 | Create and map your stories to their values.

Things to remember: Facts deal with the mind, stories and narratives deal with imagination, emotion, and ultimately will. If people are digging their feet in the sand, like Judd, you cannot change their minds with facts. You have to use their imagination and will. The only way to change their mind is by opening up possibility and imagination with stories.

So, start with a common value that you both share. Then dig into your story bank—your origin story, your unique defining moments of the past, your key turning points in your life or career, or some experience that could act as a metaphor. You’re looking for stories to illustrate that value, then use this story to change their will, their desire, and persuade them to care.

Step 4 | Be precise and specific with your story.

Think about why movies work. They make you react emotionally and intellectually to a series of mini stories within a plot by showing the specific clothes, expressions, and experiences of the characters. There is intention behind the emotions they evoke within the mini stories. Think about that for your own story. Don’t just say, “our vision for the company is to impact people in a positive way.” SNORE. Give people the before and after; show them how their lives will be different through mini stories that showcase values; give people concrete and original details. And you will close the gap between them being interested and them being a lifelong advocate.

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