We all try to one-up each other, especially when we’re swapping stories. Sitting around in a group of friends or colleagues, it’s way more fun to try to have the saddest, funniest, or most hard-fought victory of anyone in the group. It’s natural, it’s how we get attention, and how we find meaning in the trips, bruises, mess ups and mini victories—people’s reaction gives those experiences validation and significance. 

It's also why we all create a pain hierarchy—the more painful it was to experience, the more meaning it has in the aftermath. 

But how do you know what will matter and what won’t matter to people when architecting, and sharing, your origin story? What parts of your origin story will resonate with your ideal audience if you’re trying to sell something? In other words, how can your origin story one-up your competitor’s? 

The short answer: By cataloguing the generational history of your business and life, and attaching a universal truth to each phase. 

I know, that seems complicated—it’s NOT, I promise! But it is a vital exercise to help you stand out in a sea of sameness, get noticed, and to differentiate yourself (and your company) so you can connect with your people and sell to the ones who need you most. 

Here are 3 steps to mine the key moments that matter in your backstory, and make sure they resonate with others.

Step 1: Brainstorm The Generations Of Your Business

Think through the different phases or generations of your business by asking yourself: 

• Were there specific phases or your business that felt cohesive, then a moment that was difficult that made you change direction? 

• Can you remember a time when something wasn’t working so you switched gears to a new philosophy or tactic? 

• Did someone react to your business to make you second guess your direction?

• What were those moments, those experiences, or those shifts that inspired a pivot or change in your business? 

Write those down, be generous in your brainstorming list. And, remember, the small moments matter, so get them all down. 

Step 2: Create Your Hierarchy

Take your list from step 1, and create a hierarchy of challenges (aka pain you’ve experienced) and successes. Typically challenges, or pain, come from three types of experiences:

1. Loss pain

2. Process pain

3. Outcome pain

Make a list of whether the moments from step 1 were one of those three types of pain, or maybe a success, or pause, or validation that you went through. Then decide which ones were the most provocative, the most meaningful, the most intense. Which ones caused the most change for you? Put them in order of significance. 

Step 3: Map The Generations To Universal Truths

As much as we all think what we’ve been through is unique and nobody on this planet has ever been through something similar, mmm, with the billions that do live, and have lived, in this world, chances are, someone has been there before. 

And that’s great news! Why? Because then you can connect what you’ve been through to a universal truth, a feeling, an emotion, a challenge or pain that others have been through too. 

And this connection is where the magic happens. When you share the inner details of that moment—the emotional, physical, intellectual or spiritual reactions—you connect to other people. When you connect, you shift them from observer to advocate.

So, take your hierarchy and draw a line between your challenges and the universal truths that you’re certain other people would resonate with. 

Then share that, teach from that, leverage that to become essential to your people.